Since the late 1990s, the online personals sites have been trying to outdo one another on how "perfect" a match they could help their users find. This culminated, of course, in the creation of eHarmony, which has its users take a personality test. Yet, before these developments happened, people were meeting, starting relationships, and getting married.

My general question is, have people come to ask for too much in terms of relationship compatibility, hoping that if they meet up with the "perfect" person, there will never be any disagreements or tough situations? Related to this issue, have the personals sites caused some people to set their standards so high that they never find anybody who is suitable? In the long run, will the personals sites have any measurable impact on the divorce rate in this country?

Look at the gays. They seem to have it figured out, you can't say that about a lot of straight people.

I think "the gays" have as many relationship issues as "the straights." Same drama, same conflicts, same issues - mostly.

A friend of mine signed up for eHarmony a few years ago. He selected a lot of women and failed to get any dates. He gave up and canceled the service - but it turned out they service had given his phone number to one of his matches before he canceled, and she called him. They got married last September. I thought the guy would never get married, honestly - but he seems very happy.

Another good friend of mine met her now-husband on Craigslist a few years ago. So these services can work for some people. I think they are largely a crapshoot, though. Luck helps.

Andrew

I don't have a lot to offer on this thread, but I LOVE stuff about commonalities and " Hey - I do that too! I thought I was the only one."( Does anyone else share an unnatural fear of dropping their keys down a storm drain after you park the car and are walking over the grate in the parking lot? - No? - Well then we can never be married. I still fear it though. It's like my hand wants to open ).

So I'll watch and maybe ask some questions along the way.

Andrew, that's a good couple stories.

I think these are tools that can help, but luck is still a major factor.

Here's an interesting story about how all that stuff can work.

Grew up with a woman that totally evoked that special spark, when that time of life comes. In late high school, we tried it out --and it was gonna work, but religious differences put the nix on that. She married as did I.

We remained friends, talking once in a while, just to keep up with the families and have those kinds of conversations you really only have with your childhood friends --if you keep touch with them. I do keep touch with just a few, of both genders. Been fun to compare life notes and get perspective once in a while.

Some years later, at a reunion, we got to talking and she just was not happy period. Going for divorice in a big, hey you don't have to go home way! (getting a little sauced will do that ok? --and Mrs KSKD knows the whole story, secure that I'm not going anywhere, just to lay that to rest.)

So that night passed, we got rides home, and the conversation came up some weeks later.

She decided she wanted to try all these analysis tools to see if she could get somebody close to me. It seemed foolish, but it also would be just fun.

So, we both did personality tests, answered questions and plugged the data into the services.

When my part was done, I stepped away as I didn't need the stuff, but she had her data.

I received a wedding invite about 6 months later! Been a few years now and she is still very happy, so maybe that stuff works!

Or, she just feels really good about it. Maybe it's all just semantics!

If you are gonna try something goofy like this, pay for the good personality tests. The online freebies lack depth.

CJ - I clench the keys tight EACH TIME that happens. It would be the absolute worst.

Funny you mention that, as it happened today.

Could just pocket the keys, but where is the drama in that? Plus they make noise.

The gay people I know have yielded very limited success when it comes to successfully utilizing online dating services or sites. Most of my gay friends would claim that finding a long term connection with another person is more likely to occur through an introduction by a mutual friend or acquaintance. I’ve heard some real horror stories and would recommend avoiding the online trap.

CJ, I'm a NOBODY-TOUCH-MY-KEYS-OR-ELSE kind of guy. Much worse than dropping your keys down a storm drain is having someone else drop your keys down a storm drain.